The Way of the Catfight
The Chronicles of Hatchie Fu
The Way of the Cat Fight
The young Hatchie student slowly trudged up the steep track that led up the mountainside to the cave where his sensei lived. “Master” he said, “ I have begun to travel the path that leads to an understanding of Hatchie Fu. I have my Hatchie Fu tag, I am learning the way of the Cookie, and I study the art of how to Party. What else must I learn?”
The Master sat still and silent, giving no indication that he had heard the question. The student stirred impatiently. Finally, the sensei spoke: “Young Hatchling, you must learn the way of the Cat Fight. Though you might wear the tag of Hatchie Fu, might know the Way of the Cookie, and might know how to party, you are not fully Hatchie Fu until you have this skill.” The Master fell silent again.
The student stirred uneasily, and broke the silence by asking” And how shall I learn this skill, O Master?” The Master sighed and spoke “You must travel far, young Hatchling. You must find the fabled land of Raglanshire, where a merchant called Xerxes has premises, by the name of Tiny Inc. You will there exchange one hundred Lindens for a Cat Fight attachment, and you will then come to me so that I might instruct you in its use. Go, and do not return until you have achieved these tasks!” The student bowed and left the presence of his Master.
Time passed.
The student travelled far, and found it was as his Master had said, though the way was not always clear. He gave the merchant one hundred Lindens, and received the mysterious device in return. He then battled his way back through storm and fire, across ocean and desert, to the feet of his Master.
“Master!” he said, “I have returned.” The ancient gave no immediate sign that he had heard. He then slowly lifted his head, and said, ”Wear the device, and read the words that will then appear!” The student did so. “Challenge me!” roared the sensei. Trembling, the novice obeyed. The fight began. Seconds later, he lay defeated at his Master’s feet. “Give me a cookie!” the Master ordered, and the humbled initiate obeyed.
“Now, young hatchling, challenge me again” the sensei cried. Nervously, the little dragon complied. A second fight began, dust flew, and screams filled the air. When the dust cleared, the Master lay at the student’s feet. Embarrassed, the youngster helped the ancient to his feet. The sensei dusted himself down, and gravely gave a cookie to the novice. “You did well, little one” he said, “Now, best of three to decide!”
The third fight began, reaching new heights of skill and speed. Onlookers would have seen a blur of action. Eventually, the exhausted pair looked at each other, and mutely agreed on a draw. “We will therefore exchange cookies!” the seer announced.
“This is the way of the Catfight, Hatchling” the sensei explained. “Sometimes you win, sometimes you don’t, and sometimes you draw. But your opponent is Hatchie Fu, as are you, and will be respected. To the winner - a cookie, to the loser - experience and a lesson in humility. Now you know the Three Elements of Hatchie Fu – Cookie, Catfight, and Party. Go now and spread the Word, and have a seriously good time!”
The student smiled as he felt Enlightenment flood through him.
As told to Earl Semaphore
